When I talk about the necessity of peacemaking with people, the number one response I get is “Oh, I’m not in a conflict,” or “I get along with everybody,” etc. I think this is because people think of conflict as a heated argument, shouting match, or big fight. Such events are obvious. We know when we are in one of those, as do the people around us.

The question is this: how do I truly know if I am a peacemaker or a peace-faker when Jeremiah 17:9 tells us “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” Should we just assume we know what “conflict” means? And if we do not completely understand the meaning “conflict,” how can we know whether we are actually “in” a conflict or not?

What if the actual meaning and presence of “conflict” in our lives runs much deeper than we think? What if “conflict” is more akin to the way Christ describes murder in Matthew 5:21–22?

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.”

It is significant that Christ does not limit murder to the actual striking of a blow or the act that results in the death of another. He focuses instead on the heart, on the level of intentionality. We have no reason to assume the same is not true for conflict. It is even more significant that in the very next line we get one of the most often quoted peacemaking verses in the entire Bible:

“So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift” (Matt. 5:23–24).

There are two major takeaways from this passage. First, We are not even supposed to worship if we think we may be in conflict with another person. Being in conflict also does not mean that only I have something against someone. The way it’s worded here in Verse 23, I’m in conflict when someone has something against me, even if I don’t think there should be a problem. We are required to go to the person even if we think the claim is empty or stupid.

Secondly, and perhaps just as profound, is the connection Christ makes between murder and conflict. He tells us that even if we are angry with a brother, we have already murdered him in our hearts. We are, with regard to the condition of our hearts, in the same position as the person who actually delivers the death blow and stands over the body with the bloody weapon.

(To be concluded in Part 3)